Tag: joke
member name: C A.
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March 13, 2008 12:53 PM EDT --
Don't say you weren't warned......
There I was, on my way to work....getting into a fight was the farthest thing from my mind...wasn't even on the horizon.....and then......
I rear-ended . . .
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August 08, 2007 08:56 AM EDT --
Hope this one makes you laugh as hard as it did me.......
TRIP TO WAL-MART
You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house.
Mowing the lawn, putting a new fence in, painting the living . . .
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August 28, 2007 11:08 AM EDT --
To get the full effect, read aloud:
Tendjewberrymud...
It's amazing, you will understand the above word by the end of the conversation...
Read aloud for best results. "Tendjewberrymud" . . .
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September 20, 2007 01:18 PM EDT --
....say the darndest things!!
OMG...laughed myself silly over these, particularly the one about poor Socrates' untimely demise.....
1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in . . .
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October 10, 2007 08:23 AM EDT --
These are answers actually given on tests! These kids get an "A" for creativity in my book!
*Question: What is one horsepower? Answer: One horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to . . .
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October 11, 2007 08:48 AM EDT --
Every bit as hilarious as part one!
*Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they're there.
*Some oxygen molecules help fires burn while others help make water, so sometimes . . .
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August 20, 2008 08:59 AM EDT --
Excerpts from a Dog's Diary
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and . . .
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August 28, 2008 08:17 AM EDT --
From an e-mail.....
NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling . . .
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November 03, 2008 08:50 AM EST --
Yesterday in Washington, the Secret Service arrested a man who climbed over the White House fence. The Secret Service told the man, "Get back here, Mr. President, you have two more months." . . .
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November 19, 2009 08:55 AM EST --
Can you tell I spend a lot of time in the company of 2-yr. olds?
And if you don't know that I stole my title from Ming-Ming of "Wonder Pets" fame, then you're not going to get the rest of this. . . .
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May 31, 2007 03:39 PM EDT --
These 16 Police comments were taken off actual police car videos around the
country: Police giving citations.
#16 "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went
through." . . .
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September 24, 2007 09:50 AM EDT --
The following quotations are taken from official court records across the nation, showing how funny and embarrassing it is for recorders to operate at all times in courts of law.
* Lawyer: "Was that . . .
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May 31, 2007 08:11 AM EDT --
Hospital Bloopers - Part One...
These were actual hospital patient reports...enjoy!
1. The patient refused autopsy.
2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
3. Patient has left white blood . . .
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June 13, 2007 08:15 AM EDT --
The Top 10 Things Dads Won't Ever Say...
10. Well, how 'bout that?... I'm lost! Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions.
9. You know Pumpkin, now that you're thirteen, . . .
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October 22, 2007 10:31 AM EDT --
Sent to me in an e-mail...and just so you know, I'm a Cardinals fan.
Red Sox Nation...
Two boys are playing hockey on the pond on Boston Common, when one is attacked by a vicious Rottweiler. . . .
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June 25, 2008 01:37 PM EDT --
So this Department of Water Resources representative stops at a Texas
ranch and talks with an old rancher.
He tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your . . .
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September 24, 2007 09:53 AM EDT --
9. Queen Elizabeth was the Virgin Queen. As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted hurrah.
10. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg . . .
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January 24, 2007 04:51 PM EST --
Why is it that we spend countless days, weeks, months and years sculpting, shaping, rearranging, coloring, plucking, and waxing our bodies and then take offense when someone remarks about the ‘work’ . . .
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August 27, 2008 12:28 PM EDT --
From an e-mail......
1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.
2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more . . .
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August 07, 2007 03:29 PM EDT --
Wouldn't it be fun to use one of these "Out of Office"
Email Replies?
1. I am currently away from my desk, beating my head
Against the wall.
Your message will be replied to once I have reached . . .
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